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Tuesday, October 25, 2011

The Truth about Double Standards

FEMINIST - There are quite a few women out there who are expecting a double standard from their relationships.

ie. They want a man who treats them with respect and equality, but at the same time expects the man to be the sole breadwinner.

ie. I think it is ridiculous some women out there still expect the man to pay for their dinner/etc on a date.

#1. It makes you look like a gold digger.

#2. Its impolite.

#3. You should be independent and not dependent on the male for anything. If the male insists on paying, fine, let him have his ego trip, but don't expect him to pay all the time.

Applying this double standard of desiring equality and yet expecting the old treatment is backfiring and just creating more inequality. It backfires because the male either grows to resent your dependency or they expect sexual favours in exchange for your dependency. Its one or the other sadly. The male who can just give, not worry about it, and not expect anything in return is one in a billion.

Lets say you got on a date with a guy and he pays for the taxi, the meal, the movie tickets and drinks afterwards. In other words he pays for everything. He is EXPECTING SEX after the date.

Same goes with a marriage where the man is the sole breadwinner. If the woman is at home all the time what he is expecting is:

Food on the table.

A clean home to come home to.

Clean clothes.

Lots of sex regularly.

Essentially the housewife is a slave because in theory she has no life outside of the home. If she isn't performing her "wifely duties" in the bedroom then the man starts looking elsewhere for sex... secretaries, co-workers, affairs on the side. (And this is equally true for women sitting at home, bored and craving romance and sex on the side.)

Now it is true that at certain ages children can be a handful and it is wiser to have one parent stay at home to take care of the kids. But this task should be split equally between both parents so they have equal time to bond with their children. Its only blatant traditionalism that dictates the woman is the only one who can stay home and take care of the children.

Stay at Home Dads is a relatively new idea, but its a growing idea and one I feel deserves applause.

For women its simply not practical to be dependent on someone else for your finances. If the man ditches you and leaves you with nothing, what do you have to fall back on if you don't have any money of your own? It is far more practical to have your own career, your own money and be able to stand on your own two feet if the need ever arises.

"If you're going to wear the pants you have to pay for them yourself."

1 comment:

  1. I love this post! Much as it sometimes galls me (even though I do it myself), I usually insist on splitting restaurant bills and such with my husband. If he does pay for a meal, I make sure I do so too in the near future. He earns considerably more than me and is a generous sort of chap but I find that following this principle helps keep things more equal between us and reduces feelings of obligation.

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